The Onion has a knack for satire that reads like the straight dope. Supposedly, Kim Jong-Un Privately Doubt[s] He’s Crazy Enough To Run North Korea.

Although Kim’s birthday is already recognized as a national holiday and any criticism of him is punishable by indefinite sentences in re-education camps, Kim suggested that the stress of living up to his father’s insanity had been taking a toll.

“I can’t even enjoy the things I used to love, like forcing starving people to perform a five-hour dance routine in my honor, because I spend the whole time obsessing over whether I’m being wacko enough,” Kim admitted. “That’s what’s so special about Dad, you know: He never worries about all that stuff, he just acts like himself. What can I say? The old man set the loony bar pretty high.”

When asked if he planned to consult the elder Kim for advice, the future leader said that while his father would almost certainly have valuable insights, the man was far too crazy for even a lunatic like himself to speak to.

“But I’ve got to prove myself to him somehow,” Kim said. “He’ll kill me if I don’t.”

Seriously, how can the young man establish his rule following a father who acted with impunity to disguise his complete lack of skill or even favor from the Great Leader?

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Filed under: Humor-(less), Korea Tagged: kim jong il, kim jong un, north korea, satire, the onion