Just realized the title backwards is Con Air.

Been on hiatus from the bleg, probably doesn’t help that I’m computer-less and without a boob tube. I find that screens kill me. If I’m in public and there’s a screen within 400m, I just can’t stop staring at the damn things. A pirate walks into a bar with a ship’s helm attached to his groin. The bartender says, “What’s up with the helm?” The pirate responds, “AAArrrggh! It be drivin’ me nuts.” Same concept.

Oh Korea! You country! Can’t remember who it was, but someone got sued for slander for ripping on a Konglomerate so I’ll have to tone it down and play nice. Or use metaphors. Big ones with fuzzy dice in the mirror.

My new favorite game is called “Bullshit! You’ll Be Back”. Just engage somebody who’s leaving soon to go pursue any of the following; a) teaching ESL in not-Korea, b) teacher’s college, c) “just gonna travel and see what happens” (my favorite). Nothing better than ripping on people for the stupid shit you’ve done in the past. Why else would people have kids? I’m playing this game with myself at the moment while trying to suss out grad school options. The difference between kids and adults in terms of how they view education is pretty simple. Kids study what they like. Adults want a fuckin job. The pie in the sky is a job where you don’t wake up and feel like eating scalloped glass. Being older really takes all the fun out of it. I like writing, but I also like eating.

My worst habit here, aside from smoking/drinking like prohibition just ended, is keeping up with the news. Ugh! You swarthy media skanks and you stupid fucking lemming-internet article-repeating cockbrained twenty somethings are preposterous! All I hear for 2 months is BP, BP bad, BP not good, BP so so, I like anything not-BP. Then they plug the fucking thing and what’s that? Can’t hear you? Oh… no one knew. And I mean not a single person I talked to in the next 2 weeks. “Well fuck you, bleg-guy, I fuckin’ knew”, says everyone. The one nice thing is that they continuously come up with new and ridiculously retarded shit to shovel. Lebron, Iran, Whatever-istan and so on. I will say that I’m almost positive that Obama will green light Iran. He’s just lost too much cred. Like a school yard bully that the first graders start refusing to give their snack packs to, he’ll go bananas on the rich kid with the best sandwich/lunchbox. Won’t even eat the sandwich, just blow that shit up. Boom! But that’s culture.

My girlfriend (not Korean) says I’m becoming a hobo. According to her I’m insanely cheap, refuse to throw anything away, and suck at grooming. I’m just making my own culture, baby! I love culture! It’s the greatest excuse in modern times available. Didn’t get mad when my apartment didn’t have water and my boss didn’t fix it for 3 weeks… culture! She really pushed me to restart this runs inducing bleg, which mystified me because nobody puts baby in a corner! See that doesn’t even make sense.

To be 100% honest, I can dish it out, but cannot take it at all. Also, Jean Claude Van Damme was the original Predator, err, guy in the suit. Inception was almost as overrated as English grammar.

I was sitting at work, on hour 3 of screen staring, playing Infectonator on Kongregate.com when Dickey came in. He’s, I don’t know, 8-10 years old and a wonderful psychopath. My favorite in class activities with Dickey/not-Dickeys consists of making up songs about Dickey’s name or telling him I’m going to take his face… off. Anyways, he rolls in and screams, “Teacher! Game!”, which I have yet to get in trouble for doing all day, but try to keep a relatively low profile. So I click off that window. The next window was a SI. “Oh Teacher! Very handsome boy! Little shorts!”. Great. So now I’m not only playing flash games, I’m potentially looking at gay porn (in the eye’s of my coworkers). So I click again. On to drudgereport. “Russian Sex Spy!!!” Doh.