My Back Pages, I mean, My Book's Covers.  Front and back.  Sorry Bobby D.  Didn't mean to misquote you. I Shall Be Released. 

After 13.5 years in Asia, primarily SKorea, I've returned to the USA, Los Angeles, Westside specifically to become a writer.  And in keeping with the American tradition of - "If you have an idea, a worthwhile product, and a solid business plan, ANYBODY can succeed in business" I've decided to go into business for myself.  My first product is a trilogy of books entitled Culturebook.  My buddy and I have a warehouse and we are the sole suppliers.

My first book Culturebook MMX - Book Two: My Youth in Asia  will be available next month.  Here are the first 4 pages. 

CULTUREBOOK MMX

Book Two – The Spread or Penetration

 Contents

Prologue / Epithets                                                                           Pages 2-3

bROAD RAnGE of topics

THE unkorean KOREA                                                                      Page 4
Thank You Keep the Change                                                              Page 13               
The Bravo Fold                                                                                  Page 49
Turning Japanese                                                                              Page 68
Fuck You Okay uh!                                                                            Page 75
 
Corea and Amerika:                                                                           Page 79
Marriage / Divorce / Law & Order / Food & Eating / Dying
Education / Renting / Counting & Money / Ages / Visas
Music & Entertainment / Workdays / Vacations & Holidays

The Longest Day of my Life 1 / 2 / 3                                                    Page 178 

Holiday in Cambodia 1 / 2 / 3                                                              Page 208 

It’s LAOS or Never – One Reporter’s Opinion                                        Page 229       

Can of Bliss 2010                                                                               Page 239

Epilogue                                                                                            Page 256

Letter to a girl named Jen whom I hardly know                                      Page 258

Afterward / Disclaimer                                                                         Page 266

 

Cover and Back Photos by Bravo   
Front: Sacred Cows of Vang Vieng Laos                    Back: Family of Pigs on Leyte Island, PI
MAPS courtesy of Graphic Maps.com & World Atlas.com – The Interweb Leaders of Maps

                                                                                                   1.

Prologue Preamble Ramble

In 1998, after living in SKorea for two years, I returned to LA for a visit. I was talking to my East LA, Berkeley buddy Chepe Escondido about life in SKorea over a cup of Peet’s Coffee. I was chatting up Chepe about life in SKorea: Korean food, Korean women; different aspects of Korean culture – I found myself rambling. After a while Chepe stopped me and said, “You know, it’s hard for me to picture living there, or understand anything you are telling me. I have absolutely no frame of reference. I’ve been to Mexico and things are VERY different over there.  I’ll bet everything is completely different in Asia.” I thought about Chepe’s words a lot over the next 12 years – the differences and the similarities between East and West. Culturebook is my attempt to answer Chepe’s question: What’s it like living in Asia?

Culturebook is not about SKorea, nor is it about Asia. Culturebook is about My Youth in Asia. 

Culturebook was written at different times, in different cities, in different countries between the years 1999 & 2009. I assembled & edited & filled in the blanks, Jan-July 2010. It’s been a very communal effort. 

Working Towards a Collective Consciousness

I use a lot of Korean vocabulary and terminology in this tome. I wanted to include a glossary; but I hope my explanations are adequate when italicized or bolded Korean or other foreign words appear. 

I speak in Foreign Currencies as well. Currency Exchange rates fluctuate. Still, at present, summer 2010: 1000 Korean won equals 1 US dollar. It’s closer to 1200 won to the dollar, but that’s not as easy to convert in your head. It was 780 won to the dollar in 1996 and rose to almost 1800 won to the dollar in 1997, before stabilizing at 1300 won to the dollar. 1000 won to $1 US is easy to convert in your head, and IS THE FISCAL HOPE of all NES in SKorea.

NES means Native English Speaker, an industry anagram. In addition:

100 Japanese Yen = 1 US dollar; 50 Philippine Pesos = 1 US dollar; 33.3 Thai Baht = 1 US dollar; 4000 Cambodian Real = 1 US dollar; 8000 Laos Kip = 1 US dollar

It’s close enough for jazz and easy to convert in your head. Enjoy! 2010, MMX to Romans, is a significant year. Art Clokey, creator of Gumby&Pokey died. I grew up with G&P. He was once a little green slab of clay…Gumby! Emperor Wears No Clothes author Jack Herrer and Howard Zinn, author of A People’s History of America passed away; as did rock legend, Man on the Silver Mountain, singer Ronnie James Dio. 

                                                                       2.


On a brighter note, The Rolling Stones re-released their finest album, 1972’s Exile on Main St. with a second CD of unreleased, never before heard tracks, and two remixes sung by Keith. I heard one new song today on KLOS FM (Sophia Loren) Pass the Wine. That’s always been a little dream of mine – new music by the Stones from the early 1970’s. My dream came true. Thank you, Keith & Mick & Ron Yang.

The epithet for Culturebook is, For You. I wrote this book for YOU. Who is YOU? YOU appear in Culturebook and in my life. I use YOU collectively for every person who is not me, who has been an integral part of my development. And without whom this book would never have been written.  Those who know don’t tell; those who tell don’t know. You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows                 Bravo 7-15-2010

 

For You

 

If you lose your wealth, you’ve lost nothing
If you lose your health, you’ve lost something
If you lose your character, you’ve lost everything
Sign on a wall at a rest in Haridwar, India  


 

Free your mind and your ass will follow
The Kingdom of Heaven is within 
Dr. GC Funkenstein              



I would pay good money to have sex with that woman
Happily married Hanny Hanna speaking hypothetically about SKorean pop diva Lee Jung Hyun 

I’m a going back out ‘fore the rain stops a falling
I’ll walk through the depths of the deepest dark forests

Where the people are many and their hands are all empty
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison
And the executioner’s face is always well hidden

Where hunger is ugly where the souls are forgotten
Where Black is the color where none is the number
And I’ll tell it and speak it and think it and breathe it
And reflect from the mountain so all souls can see it

And I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinking
But I’ll know my song well before I start singing
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall

 Bob Dylan

         3.

bROAD RAnGE of topics

 

THE unkorean KOREA
 

Itaewon is a district in Seoul, located near the geographic center of Seoul, SKorea; just north of the Han River, the river that runs through Seoul. Itaewon is unlike any other region in Seoul, or any district in SKorea; because unlike most of SKorea, which is inhabited almost exclusively by Korean Nationals who are no English (sic), Itaewon is inhabited almost exclusively by foreigners and Koreans who DO speak functional English. 

Many of the American foreigners living in SKorea are members of the US military – 38,000 infantry men and woman are spread throughout the peninsula; others include Department of Defense civilians, i.e., engineers, salespeople, and other non-military personnel who work on any of the many US army bases scattered throughout SKorea. Many retired military, married to Korean women, remain in SKorea. Some teach English. Some live on their Army pension and play golf in the spring and summer. Retired military living overseas in Asia can be divided into three categories: the church goers, the beer drinkers, and the beer drinking churchgoers. Being on a US army base in SKorea feels a lot like being in Los Angeles – once yer inside a bowling alley or a Gap outlet, or in a Burger King drive thru.

English teachers from the US, the UK, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia, and South Africa can and do find gainful employment in SKorea as English teachers in private institutes, called hagwon, or at a public school. All they need is a BA or better. SKorean colleges and Universities employ NES from English speaking countries with a MA or better. 

I got my first university job at Konkuk University KKU in Seoul with just a BA in History in 1999 quite easily, as this was right after the Asian financial crises of 1997-1998, when many foreign teachers fled SKorea for Taiwan or Japan after their 10,000,000 Korean won in the bank devalued from being worth 12,500 US dollars to being worth about 6000 US dollars in just a few weeks. Universities became desperate to hire native English teachers. 

After two years at KKU, I went on to work at three different universities/colleges in three different mainland SKorean cities: Seoul, Cheongju, and Pusan, from 2001 till 2006. I got hired at each Uni with only my BA – my bony ass. Looks and personality go a long way in SKorea. Timing is crucial, as is the ability to flatly refuse a ‘no’ answer in a polite manner. Anything is possible in SKorea, if you are white enough. 

                                                                4.



That's all you get.  Dongha, Showbiz, Bobby McGee (sic), Arizona JR, Scouser, Mojo members, Hyangmi, half the staff at KIT... See ya in the funny papers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

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