This past winter, I quit the fifth and last job I would have in 2014. It was a waitress gig at the local contemporary American restaurant. My boss was a bipolar alcoholic. That, combined with his penchant for playfully slapping my ass was enough for me to say good bye and fuck you very much to the restaurant industry.

Here’s a clip of my boss asking me if I wanted to see his cock (yump, I sneakily voice-memoed at work sometimes):

 

Quitting that job, just like quitting the four before it, felt kind of great and kind of terrible. On the one hand, I got to leave a less-than-ideal situation. But on the other, I was frustrated at myself for propagating what seemed like a never-ending cycle of irrelevant work experiences (dishwasher, tech support representative, real estate admin assistant, barista, waitress).  I promised myself that in 2015, I would do things differently.

 

 

 

Now it’s April and I’ve been tutoring three ESL students for two months. All three are middle-aged Japanese businessmen and, even though it’s only been two months I feel somewhat attached to my tutees and will be sad to say goodbye to them come May. I’m lucky to have gotten this new job that’s way more relevant to my life than bussing tables and getting that extra cup of ranch.

But even so, I’m still unhappy with my work and I hope you do not perceive me as an entitled brat because of it! The point of this post isn’t to complain. Instead, I am writing it to share the experiences of a post-grad somewhat aimlessly bouncing around this shitty job market. If you’ve ever been curious about responding to one of those ESL-tutor needed craigslist ads, this post is meant for you.

Here are four reasons being a private ESL tutor kinda sucked for me:

• I am totally unqualified to be a private ESL tutor.
  • I was hired for the job because I have an English degree. But that doesn’t mean I know anything about explaining how the English language works. Sure, I intuitively know what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to grammar. But I’m clueless when it comes to describing the difference between “during” and “for” when talking about time. I don’t have prepared worksheets or lessons for the sessions; I have been making it up as I go. My tutees have told me they enjoy the lessons and look forward to them, but how much am I really helping them?
• I have little faith in adult ESL education. 
  • Of course, I support learning at any age. But I don’t think it’s realistic for a man who works 40-60 hours a week (hardly using any English) to devote extra time to studying a second language. After the age of seven, the critical learning period for second languages is over. Then, people have to rely on declarative learning (such as rote memorization or repeated drills). The older you get, the harder it gets. I’m not saying they shouldn’t try. I’m saying it’s just going to take a lot of energy that they might not have, given their packed schedules. Their companies mandate weekly ESL lessons and it all seems like a formality to me. None have the time or the energy to take learning English at their age seriously.
• I am unsure of the tutor-tutee power dynamics.
  • One of my tutees told me today that he wants me to push him to study, and he wants me to be tell him explicitly when he’s doing a bad job and when he needs to try harder. But how can I tell someone so busy to study? And how can I tell someone older than me what to do? I don’t know too much about Japanese culture, but I think that in general they respect the position of teacher more than Americans. He expects me to take ownership of that authority but I see him as of a higher status and am extremely uncomfortable taking charge.
• I don’t trust getting close to (older) men.
  • One of my tutees is always really sweet and funny. Sometimes he gives me chocolates or soap. We have a good time having casual conversations and grammar lessons during our sessions. He told me I remind him of his daughter, and when I told him I was moving to Korea, he asked me to continue skyping ESL lessons with him once a week for the whole year and wanted to pay me in advance (almost $1000).  This smells a bit fishy to me but I could just be being over-sensitive. Either way, I said no and ever since then, things have been a bit awkward between us.

 

 

Overall, I haven’t enjoyed this awkward craigslist ESL tutoring job. I hope my experience teaching in Korea will give me a foundation to build on!