Ah, the boy—the boy! Today I took him out for a long walk along the river, and he acknowledged my commitment to the unending struggle to be a good parent by passing out within seconds of going outside. He missed a gaggle of ducks, an old man speedwalking backwards, plenty of old people playing around in the old people playground, and several old people who did not know the difference between right and left. There are signs all over the place, seriously everywhere, telling people to stay on the right, in Korean, English, and Chinese, but everyone still walks on the left.
Not to worry! I have developed a foolproof way of dealing with this. As opposed to getting the hell out of the way, which as a younger person I am supposed to do, according to Confucius (“When Old Man Come In, Young Man Get Fuck Out!”—Analects xii.22), I maintain my honor by just staring at my feet and pressing on at full speed.