satire

South Korea’s CARS Epidemic Enters Fourth Decade

A Yangpa News Special Report

SEOUL – The OECD has announced that 5,869 South Koreans died of CARS in 2014, which marks the 30th consecutive year that the number of fatalities from the epidemic has topped the 5,000 mark.


Satire Will Win The Election

Like many liberals, I’m disappointed with Barack Obama, the kill-list, the continuing weakness of the economy, the corruption of the government, and plenty of other things that are not exactly as I want them to be. I recognize that if you don’t live in Ohio or Florida, you should probably vote for a third-party candidate who more properly reflects your views, whether you lean toward the right or the left, as I guess most people are disappointed with the two very similar choices being offered for the 2012 Presidential Election.


Seoul to plan women-only subway lines

Photo credit: Asian Correspondent

With the success of the women-only parking spots, the men in the National Assembly have decided again that they know what women really need: their own subway lines.


South Koreans set ‘paper, rock, scissors’ record

Source

A group of 200 South Koreans set a Guinness World Record for playing ‘Paper, Rock, Scissors’ for just over 86 hours non-stop earlier this week. The group, an eclectic mix of people including college students and octogenarians, started approximately 9am on Tuesday morning and didn’t stop until just after 11pm Friday evening.


Japan set to renounce claims to Dokdo

Photo credit: http://mdhiker.tistory.com/330

Although an unanticipated move, a source from within the Japanese government says Japan will relinquish its claim to Dokdo at a press conference on Friday. The source, who remains anonymous because they are not authorized to speak to the media, has said “Japan will be in a rebuilding mode after the 9.0 earthquake and the issues with the nuclear reactors.” The source added that “while Takeshima remains an important strategic point in northeast Asia, we can’t sustain our desire to expand while our key infrastructure must be rebuilt.”


South Korea gives priority to talented foreigners in awarding citizenship

In a follow-up to the original Yonhap story, the Korean Immigration Service has clarified its intentions in awarding citizenship to ‘talented foreigners’. “Nobel prize laureates as well as accomplished scholars, entertainers and entrepreneurs” will be given priority, as will world-class soccer players and intelligence collection experts.

Photo credit: Joongang Daily


Seoul to institute new bans

Photo credit: Starlight Press LLC

Not satisfied with their new ban on smoking in public places, the Seoul Metropolitan Government has decided to initiate some additional bans. “We’ve discovered that if we put a ban on something, a small minority of people actually stop doing that thing”, said one city council member.


Korean woman assaulted in Itaewon

A 22-year-old Korean girl was found unconscious near Itaewon station late Saturday evening. According to official police reports, she had a confrontation with a number of foreigners, although no Korean could explain the problem to them.

The following picture was found on the woman's camera:



US set to claim West Sea, East Sea


Original photo credit: mapsofworld.com

Following South Korea's campaign to rename the Sea of Japan to the Korean-favored 'East Sea', the United States is set to do the same. While the rest of the world may call it the Pacific Ocean, the United States will simply call it the 'West Sea'. The Atlantic Ocean will be referred as the 'East Sea' as well, which may cause some confusion.


New generation of Koreans not learning Korean squat



Photo credit: Sarai

"It's a little embarassing," says one mother, who asked to remain anonymous. Her 5 year old boy, identified only by his English nickname Speedy, has yet to learn the 'Korean squat'. While people around the world squat on their toes, Korean squats leave the full foot on the ground, with knees spread out further to maintain balance.

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