Random Firsts

Original Mother-In-Law Diary

Sometimes I look at the other expats here, living the wild single-guy lifestyles we westerners imagine so unique, edgy, cool. Booze and broads and late-night drunken motor-scooter adventures in our Korean-Western micro-culture here in Busan. Then I wonder if my lot is rather dull. I am not one, as much as I have tried at times, to enjoy the Gonzo, too-cool lifestyle. I‘m married, with two kids, and live with my mother-in-law. I work a hellish schedule, hoping to one day afford economic opportunities for my wife and boys, and of course for me. It‘s dull. I get sick of the brats and mothers, and college class-skippers and crying babies, day in and day out, a seemingly never-ending cycle.

Benny Benny

Benny Benny

Written in some Hawaiian and English

Benny Benny

Buddha Belly

Surfing Nui

Nani Keiki

You make you

Fish white

Father Hau-oli

When you hula

On kahakai



Benny Benny

Buddha Belly

Surfing big

Beautiful child

You make your

Fish white

Father proud

When you dance

On the Beach

Workin’ in Korea Blues

Workin’ in Koree Blues

Scott Morley


In Korea

I made money

In Korea

I made money

Like a pizzeria

It was so funny!


Didn’t wanna go home!

Wa’ stay in Koree

No love at home

Wa’ stay in South Koree

Korean girl at home

Now America is where I be


Working hard

For soft pay

Working hard

For soft pay

Wanna work hard

Just don’t wanna play!

Poem Dedicated to Asians


Scott Morley


Asian persuasions

Ambiguous confrontations

Constant Fixations

Terrible Temptations

Joyous Ejaculations

Bliss filled relations

Asians Asians and Asians


Blue-bottomed reindeer herders

Grain and gourd growers

Minnesotan dugout paddy pickers

Hoarding Mongol horse slickers

Slaving Apache lizard lovers


Gurkhas draped in boorkhas

Porting punkas up a steep Pun pitch

Munching sorts of radish pickles

From a small dish


Korean Mother-In-Law Blues

Korean Mother-in-Law Blues

Had a mother-in-law

From Korea

Yes! My mother-in-law

Lives in Korea!

But me, I’m stuck back here

Without my mother-in-law


She had veggie gardens,

And homemade wine

She had veggie gardens,

And homemade wine

I loved those veggie gardens

And where’s my sweet rice wine?


See my mother-in-law

She’s funny and sweet

My only mother-in-law

Just cannot be beat

She only four-foot tall

And such a lovely treat!


Why Come Home?

Okay, so my first post was a bit gloomy, and returning to America after ten years in Korea, has not been easy, but in the end, after all options have been weighed:

Stay in Korea Pros:

  • cash for the whole family
  • work for my me and my wife
  • entertainment for the whole family
  • friendly neighbors and family
  • thorough and quality education for the boys

Korea Cons:

  • pollution for the boys
  • less athletic outlets for the boys
  • less natural surroundings for the boys
  • long work hours so less time with the boys
  • long school hours for the boys
  • less educational freedom for the boys
  • family obligation for all of us
  • limited english language exposure for the boys
  • limited opportunities to advance my/mia’s education
  • Prejudice or jealousy against the boys

America Pros:

Korean Mother-In-Law Diaries Midwest America

Greetings Expats, Koreans, Korean-Americans, Korea-lovers, Linguistics Lovers, Mixed-Marriage couples and hapa 1.5ers from across the globe!

For those who’ve never read my Mother-In-Law Diaries, in former expat magazine The Beat, and also in Pusan’s www.koreabridges.com, welcome to the Diaries: The Rebirth!

However I am not in South Korea anymore. Hopefully soon. But not yet.

Right now I’m back in America.

And for those of you considering returning to America with your new Korean wife and kids, all I can advise is DON’T DO IT!

There is nothing here! No culture! No education! No Employment! No bilingual bliss! And no mother-in-law!

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