Q: So you are aware that your next ebook, Kingdoms In The Sun, due to be released in a few days, will be completely ignored by every single person currently drawing breath?
A: That’s right. I’ll be doing naked cartwheels in the street if more than five people pay for it.
Q: Are you serious?
A: Yes. I’ll make my wife take pictures and then I’ll post them here with my wang and my ass blurred out. I might have to do the posting from jail…on my phone. I should mention that I live above a street that is rather crowded all day long.
Q: But why do you persist in publishing ebooks when everyone knows you obviously have no talent or aptitude of any kind?
A: I don’t know, it beats jerking off to myself in the mirror.
Q: And you couldn’t even find someone to interview you, so you had to resort to interviewing yourself.