Dear North Korea,
Here are 10 reasons you should postpone your rocket launch.
10. It’s too cold outside to watch a rocket launch- It’s cold in Seoul this winter. I wouldn’t even go outside to meet a naked girl with chicken wings. It must be freezing for the under-clothed, starving, rural North Koreans. Not feeding them is sad enough, but providing them with an explosion they won’t enjoy or watch (too cold outside) is unusually cruel. You should wait until it gets warmer to launch the rocket.
9. South Korea blocked all the good porn sites- Actually, this is a good reason for you to launch a faulty rocket. If we can’t look at porn in South Korea, explosions from crappy rockets are the next best thing.